When someone upsets you, this is a reflection of what is going on within you;
It is showing you who you are and what is important to you. It is an opportunity for you to learn a lot about you: it is showing you what you need to work on in order to be more of you, it is showing you how to be more aligned with who you truly are.
Let me explain;
If someone is rude to you and that upsets you, that is actually showing you who you are. It is showing you that you believe that it is important to not be rude to other people – it might be that you believe that everyone should treat people with love, care, kindness and respect. Given that, to be more of you – to be more aligned with who you truly are, you need to react and respond to that person who is being rude to you with love, care, kindness and respect. That is the meaning of being the change that you want to see in the world. It is then that you will see people treat you with love, care, kindness and respect.
If you cannot react and respond with love, care, kindness and respect – then that is where your work on you lies. Whatever is preventing you from being able to react and respond with, by and through your values is what needs to be resolved within you, and when you do that – you will see that reflected back to you in your reality. And that is where and how you can be more of you, more of who you truly are.
It is not a matter of other people changing, or apologizing, or what is fair or unfair, right or wrong: it is a matter of you being able to completely respond with, by and through your values. It is a matter of you being the change you want to see in the world, to be the shining light that shows the world how to treat other people – how to be more.
But why should I be nice, they were rude and mean to me?
When you respond with, by and through your values you aren’t doing it for the other person – you are doing it for you. When you react and respond with, by and through your values you will always be at peace with your behavior, with the situation and with you; this means that you won’t have regrets – hang ups, resentment, anger or hurt. You will always know that what you said and did was in complete alignment with you and who you truly are: you will always be at peace.
Think about the alternative – someone is rude to you and you get angry and are rude back; the anger is going to be reflected back to you at some point, and when you do eventually calm down, you usually find yourself feeling bad about the way you behaved or what you said. It is never going to be a good thing for you – it is only ever going to hurt you in the long run.
Remember, your path and your journey is different to everyone else’s. People’s behavior is a reflection of their own fears, their experiences, beliefs and values – rightly or wrongly they are a sum of multiple factors, and maybe they have not yet reached a level where they are aware that they have the ability to be any different than they are, but you do. When you know more, you have a responsibility to be more: to show people how to be better, to break the cycle and be the change you want to see in the world.
So how do I react with, by and through my values?
It is a process of getting to know and connecting to who you truly are at a very deep level, and then aligning your thoughts, feelings, emotions, words and actions with who you truly are. When you do this, you will find that hurt, anger, sadness, regret etc cease to exist, you will automatically react and respond with, by and through your values and be the change you want to see in the world.